Wow almost seven months since my last post, in that time another year came to the end, Molly and I traveled to visit family I had not seen in almost ten years and in June we had a kid. Wow! Life can often surprise me with the way things turn out; since Molly has had to go back to work I have had the privilege of playing Mr. Mom during the day and I have really enjoyed it! Corban and I just hangout, I hold him and play with him, he falls asleep on my lap and I find myself just sitting there watching him amazed by the little person on my lap. I sit there thinking, "What will he be like as he grows up? ", "Will he make good choices?", "Will he see God as someone who he can have a personal relationship with or will he see God as distant or his 'parents' God?"
With these thoughts flashing in my mind I know that there will be challenges ahead for Corban and for Molly and me, I know that there will be times when Corban's and my relationship may be strained or hurt, he may tell me one day he "hates" me or that he wished I "was dead". I know that right now Corban is completely dependent on Molly and me and that our relationship with him will never be simpler than it is now and as he gets older this relationship will be come more complicated and probably more difficult. So the question some might ask is weather it is worth it?
Relationships can be a risk and we really don't know how they will ever turn out, the only relationship that we can full trust is our relationship with Jesus, He is the only person that can be perfect in relationship. When God created us it was for relationship with Him, He knew before hand that we would rebel and demand our independence but he created us anyway. He knew that he would have to send Jesus to die for us so that our relationship with Him could be fixed. Even with all we have done to rebel and hurt God He has still chosen to love us and seek relationship with us. So I guess I can take heart and borrow a page from God's book and love Corban as God loves me. Even though I know Corban may hurt me I still chose love and just as there is nothing that can change the fact that I am God's child, there is nothing that Corban can do to that wont make him my child. So as he gets older yes the relationship may get harder but it will also get deeper than it can be now and I want to know my son and I look forward to getting to know him as he grows.
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